Daydreaming about the day I caught this salmon deepens the EOFFSD

I have the flu. In between long naps, discarding piles of used tissues and drinking hot toddys, I have been trying to examine my recent mood swings and accounting for my illness.

The past week has been brutal. I tried to engage my editor, a really decent chap actually, in an email flame war. Normally, I am not like that and don't participate in such things. I was a little on the rude side to my mother when she called, wanting to know when I was coming to get the canoe out of her back yard. To me, that canoe represents the ability to flyfish areas I didn't get a chance to fish this year.

I tried picking up a few different fly fishing magazines, but for some reason inexplicable to me at the time, I tossed them back onto my desk and sat staring into space. Things have just not been quite right for me at all, this past week. It is all very strange to some folks as well - I mean, my business is going great, several goals that I set out to accomplish have been accomplished and others are on the horizon, and the weather here in Southern Ontario has been fantastic.

Buy The Books: Standing in a River Waving A Stick - By John Gierach. Hillarious, entertaining and rich in fishing lore. Death, Taxes, And Leaky Waders - By John Gierach. Sex, Death, And Flyfishing - By John Gierach. John's insights will have you laughing, learning and forming your own philosophies of life and love. Other Resources: About Mental Health - Leonard Holmes has a lot of resources if you seriously are suffering from stress related problems. Stress Management - About's stress managment site is a compilation of the best educational, self-help, and management resources available on the Web. Stress Busters - Learn why some stress is normal, and discover how to manage the excess stress in your life. (Nothing about EOFFSD , however!)

So, what in the world is my problem? I think I finally figured it out. I was browsing through some other About sites today, when I came across an article on 'End Of School Year Stress' by our Secondary School Educators guide.

"Eureka!" (my grade 7 math teacher would be proud knowing I recalled Archimedes famous streak through the streets), I thought to myself. That is exactly what I am suffering from, and by golly, there should be some sort of recognition from the medical community for End of Flyfishing Season Stress Disorder (EOFFSD)! It should be officially recognized. Where I live, its effects can be severe and quite pronounced. At least now I have an excuse for my strange behaviour and illness of late.

The other day, I met a woman who owns - get this - three feather boas. One is red, one is white, and one is black. Now I realize that it was this awful end of season stress that caused me to think that it would be an interesting experiment to try picking out some of those feathers, while she was wearing the boa of course, and tie some flies. Heck, I was even willing to take her out on the stream to teach her how to fly fish, and use some of the boa flies we would tie up if she let me. I figured though that between now and next spring, I could remove an awful lot of those feathers and tie up quite a few flies.

The only problem is, removing feathers from a woman's boa, especially while she is wearing it, could get a man into some major 'woman trouble'. That got me thinking about something John Gierach wrote in Standing in a River Waving A Stick: "The solution to any problem - work, love, money, whatever - is to go fishing, and the worse the problem, the longer the trip should be."

Well, that's all fine and dandy if you live in an area where it's not difficult to head out at any time of the year. What is one to do when they are facing knee deep snow and closed seasons for another 5 months? I suppose I could tie up some Mickey Finns and try jigging them through a hole cut into the ice. Now that I think about, some of those boa feathers might be ideal for tying up something to experiment with while ice fishing.

When will I learn my lesson? I read about fishing these wonderful places such as Patagonia, Australia, Christmas Island and so on. They would be perfect opportunities for me to rid myself of this Stress Disorder. Certainly, it would help me act in a more sane manner at this time of year. I was thinking about trying to save some cash so I could head to one of these places, but after the taxman took his share, there just wasn't enough left over.

When you really think about, wouldn't it be beneficial to have some official treatment for folks like me? Just imagine how much more productive we could be for our country if our elected officials recognized that this is a serious debilitating problem and added some dollars to health care to send us to warmer climes for Stress Disorder treatment.

Let's form a lobby group before it's too late, and demand some cash for care. With elections going on both here in Canada and the U.S., it's worth a shot, don't you think? I'll settle for bonefishing in the Bahamas. In the meantime, I guess I will go back to reading more of John Gierach.

A Pumpkin Story
Throughout the history of fly tying, the subject of the "right" colour has stimulated much debate. Is the reported success of a particular pattern due to the precise colour?

Flyfishing With Crocodiles
A hillarious story of adventure from one of our visitors who lives and fishes 'down under'. If you need a good laugh, be sure to read this!

Flyfishing Is For Women Too
The sport is not just for men, and women can often learn faster.

Poisoning The Water
Save the environment by killing the trout. It's happening and its government sanctioned.

Previous Features

From The Bench: The Muncher is a favorite of Ian James for carp, smallies, more.    Tie This!

The Doc's Rx: Thoughts of a Chicken Rancher. Doc tells it like it is.    The Doc's Rx